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CALLING all interested parties: join a like-minded club and enjoy the thrill of the spills.
A new game that is taking the Western Cape by storm is now opening an office in a town near you! Simply complete the perforated application form attached here for your convenience, mail and await your licence to perform your wildest dreams.
All you need to participate in this game is (1) a vehicle - RV's (recreational vehicles) are the favourite followed hotly by double-cab bakkies; (2) a road (any road will do, but the busier ones are best); (3) a death wish.
The rules are (a) to irritate and upset as many fellow motorists at any given time as is possible; (b) perform dare-devil stunts; (c) totally ignore traffic laws and regulations; (d) be as obnoxious, arrogant, reckless and provocative as possible.
Lastly, the prerogative of any vehicular excursion should be to drive at least 50% faster than the indicated maximum speed.
The fun of this game lies in overtaking on blind rises; around curves and any other place the fancy takes you. You score high points when you can overtake blithely ignoring the oncoming traffic so forcing them to drive on the shoulder of the road.
Even higher points are awarded when you wildly join the oncoming traffic from a side-road forcing vehicles to brake hard. The highest points are earned when you can tailgate another vehicle within 100 cm following distance at excessive speeds.
Any particular round of the game ends when you either have a wipeout (collision with any other object) or die. Points are deducted if you cannot complete a round.
This game attracts serious participation and enjoys widespread support internationally. You would be an idiot to ignore the thrill of the spills.
So, if you are interested in joining the club, please fax proof of vehicle purchase (RV's, V6's, earn Status-level, 3 litre jobbies earn Silver; any other mean machine is slotted into categories - copy attached with the membership form).
A driving licence is optional; so is any skill whatsoever at handling the vehicle of your choice. The only prerequisite is that you are serious about the club's rules (as explained above) and intend on upholding the motto: "Drive over 'em faster and faster".
On reception of your application we will courier your official licence to kill, badge of honour and the club's manual on "How to be a real pain in the but".
So, hold your cellphone to your ear, blast your horn and drive over 'em faster and faster!
Biebie |
